Should Christian Homemakers Try To Be Perfect?| Biblical Womanhood and Homemaking

Should Christian Homemakers Try To Be Perfect?

Sometimes in our social media obsessed world, people imagine that homemakers, including Christian homemakers, are perfect or that they must try to be perfect. This pressure to be perfect and to compare ourselves with others is not new. In fact, we can read about jealousy and comparison and it's negative impacts in the old testament between Sarah and Hagar; Rebecca and Leah among others. My purpose in creating these homemaker podcasts and Bible studies are for encouragement and edification, not to shame anyone or to claim to be better than anyone else. The reality is that even as believers, we still have our vile, sinful flesh. The flesh doesn't change. However, as believers, we do have God's Spirit in our spirit and we have the word of God to keep our minds renewed. As believers we are no longer identified with the sin nature, but our identity is in Christ. As Christian wives, mothers and homemakers we can only truly serve God by allowing Christ and His word to live in and through us.

So, even as believers we sometimes make mistakes and follow our flesh instead of walking in the Spirit, and we definitely are not perfect in and of ourselves. Unbelievers might strive for worldly perfection, which of course they fall short of, but as believers we are not to be like the world. Religious people also strive for perfection, but they are putting themselves under the law, which is bondage, and an effort of their flesh which actually leads to even more sin (read about this in Romans chapter 7).

Romans 12:2
2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

If you find yourself being competitive with other Homemakers (or with anyone), or feeling jealous and insecure, it's time to turn to the word of God and meditate on verses that remind us of our identity in Christ, verses about not comparing ourselves with others, but also read and study Romans chapters 6-8 to learn about walking in the Spirit instead of after the flesh.

2Co 5:17 KJV - 
17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

2 Cor 10:12
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

Gal 1:10
For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

Phil 2:3
3Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Our flesh is tricky. It will try to convince you that perfectionism is the answer. But it only leads to death (loss of rewards and nothing of eternal value) because it means that we are walking after the flesh. We need to understand that our old man is dead and we are to reckon it to be dead, so that we will walk in the Spirit instead. The old man resides in our flesh but its like a chicken with its head cut off, dead but still running around (Read Romans chapter 6)!

Romans 6:3-4
3Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
4Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Our families are also their own people and they will not be perfect either. If they are believers, they will also sometimes sin and other times walk in the Spirit. If they are unbelievers, all that an unbeliever can do is sin so we can only hope that they will be saved (which is why we share the gospel with them, and allow Christ to live in and through us as often as possible so that they might desire to be saved as well). We are taught to not hold grudges, but to forgive one another, to have grace and to bear one another's burdens. This doesn't mean condoning sin, but we are to forgive others which is the complete opposite to how the world behaves even amongst family members!

Eph 4:32 KJV - 
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Col 3:13 KJV - 
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Gal 6:2 KJV - 
2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

I remember seeing a family once on social media whose children and parents all seemed so perfect. The daughters wore beautiful, modest clothes that they handmade themselves. They were always busy in the home with crafts, cooking, baking and studies. The sons were always working in the garden or some other projects, getting exceptional grades in school and playing sports. The family had a prayer garden and would sit and pray together every evening. However, this family was part of a false denomination. Their church taught that we are saved by grace through faith plus works (we are saved by grace through faith alone without the works of the law; their denomination doesn't rightly divide the scriptures nor understand Jesus Christ according to the revelation of the mystery). If you don't know the gospel of the grace of God unto justification, then you are not saved having never trusted in Christ's death, burial and resurrection alone as atonement for your sins. Maybe they have at some point personally believed a clear gospel message, or perhaps not. But, they might all be depending upon their own works for salvation! If that's true, then that means that they are still spiritually lost! How awful! They LOOKED, sounded and even seemed to behave like a wholesome, idealistic Christian family. The sad thing is that they might all still be on their way to hell. They could simply just have a FORM of godliness, but are denying the power thereof (2 Tim 3:5). And from such people, we have to turn away. We can try to share the gospel with them and hope that they will choose to believe it, but oftentimes the hardest people to get saved are religious people! Just like the Pharisees in Jesus's day. I pray that they will be saved if they are not saved and that they will come unto the knowledge of the truth.

On the other-hand, you could have a family of believers, but one of the children walks away from the faith. He becomes really worldly and embarrasses his family by his behavior (drinking, curse words, sleeping around) and even his appearance (wild clothing styles, tattoos and piercings etc). But, if he ever truly believed the Gospel, he is still saved! If he's behaving so wildly of course it does make you wonder if he ever truly believed the Gospel, but even a believer can choose to live after the flesh even in extreme ways, instead of walking in the Spirit. It usually starts with them moving away from the Bible and questioning God's word. If he's saved but living worldly he's loosing rewards for heaven, but if he is a true believer, he will one day be in heaven! He is actually a saint, if hes a believer, though certainly not walking correctly as a believer. My point is that looks can be deceiving. No family is perfect. No homemaker is perfect. We all make mistakes. We cannot control our family members either, whether they are saved or unsaved.

I remember reading about a Christian who is a celebrity, and her adult daughter was in the headlines for behaving very worldly. Everyone was attacking the mother as if she has some control over her adult daughter. They claimed that maybe the mother didn't teach her God's word and all kinds of things and perhaps they are right, but the harsh reality is that we all have a sin nature and that includes our family members and even if they are saved, they will still sometimes sin. It was also very WORLDLY and CARNAL for these believers to be gossiping online about these celebrities anyway (something I have to admit that sadly I have done myself!). We are supposed to keep our minds on heavenly things, and speak words that are edifying and encouraging, not to join the world in celebrity gossip!

Eph 4:29 KJV - 
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

The most important thing is to be saved  and then to come unto the knowledge of the truth. We can then keep our minds renewed with God's word rightly divided daily, and let go of the need to compare ourselves with others and focus instead on allowing Christ to live in and through us, sharing the Gospel with others especially our family, and teaching others sound grace doctrine as well.

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