Emotional Health for the Christian Homemaker | Biblical Womanhood and Homemaking Encouragement

Emotional Health for the Christian Homemaker 

Romans 12:15

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

Though believers ought to "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep", we each need to also remember that God and his word should always be exalted above our own thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Our feelings can deceive us.

Also, we cannot expect our spouse or any other person to meet all of our "emotional needs". We must learn to turn to God to meet our every need and He does so by renewing our minds with the word (we, of course, have to choose for ourselves to read, study and believe it) and through prayer.

The more that we have sound grace doctrine built up in our inner man (mind and heart), the more joyful and content we will be, even amidst our sufferings. 

It's also VERY important to NOT turn to a person of the opposite sex to talk about your feelings or any possible marital issues that you might have. This can lead to an emotional affair and then to a physical affair (adultery). In fact, we need to even be careful about doing this with family and friends too because we don't want to be disrespectful to our husbands or tear him down with our words. Turn to God and His word to meet your every need. His word is sufficient. If necessary, find a fellow grace beleving woman that you could also talk to about life issues who is mature in the word and can offer practical advice and words of encouragement (for a man, he should find another godly man to give him advice and encouragement).

We can learn, as believers, to be truly joyful, thankful and content in all things, even in our sufferings as we keep our minds renewed in God's word rightly divided daily and allow Christ to live in and through us.

Philippians 4:11

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Romans 12:12

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.

2 Corinthians 12:10

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

However, this doesn't mean that you will just be bubbly joyful all of the time! God knows when we are faking it, because when we fake happiness it comes from our flesh and that will lead to loss of rewards in heaven. The reality is that there are lots of "cheerful, happy people" who have never believed the gospel who are on their way to hell! 

The cheerfulness, happiness, peace and joy needs to come from Christ and the sound grace doctrine that we learn, living in and through us. Otherwise it's just the flesh, no matter how appealing it might seem to be. Believers CAN be cheerful, content, joyful and even happy but it must be by way of the sound grace doctrine that we learn working in our inner man (our soul and spirit). 

As we learn to love others as Christ loves us, we may tend to smile more often. We do more kind things for others. We speak more encouraging words. We become cheerful because we have so much love from God, are eternally secure in Christ, and we are aware of the many spiritual blessings he has given us, that it makes us joyful in all things, even in our sufferings. We might not always smile 24/7 but we have true inner joy. We then put more focus on others, especially their spiritual well-being. This is far better and more real than just trying to put on a show to please someone's flesh!

Paul suffered many things and I highly doubt that he just smiled all of the time, however, he still had an inner joy. Look at these verses:

2 Cor 6:

3 "Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed: [ as a note - women have a ministry too to their families and to share the gospel with unbelievers as well as to teach other women sound grace doctrine]

4 But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, [believing women, even homemakers, suffer at times when we have unbelieving husbands, or husbands that are believers who are more carnally-minded; having children or extended family members who might not believe; we might struggle financially or have been abandoned by our spouses for our faith or for other reasons; we might not have a grace church in our area; we might have illness; people might mock and laugh at us for being homemakers and dressing modestly etc; these are part of our sufferings for living godly which we will be rewarded for enduring them if we continue to allow Christ and His word to live in and through us]

5 In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings; [some women in foreign nations endure these kinds of sufferings as believers]

6 By pureness, by knowledge, by long suffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned,

7 By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left,

8 By honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true;

9 As unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as chastened, and not killed;

10 As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; [the word "alway" means to be rejoicing until the day we die or if the rapture happens first] as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things."

Be Careful about Your Feelings 

We do also need to be careful about our feelings in that we shouldn't allow ourselves to have outbursts of anger, temper tantrums, rage, always being in a bad mood, constantly complaining about things, worrying all of the time etc. This all comes down to bringing our bodies and emotions into subjection. That is, subjection to God's sound grace doctrine working in our inner man. Paul said, 

1 Cor 9:

"27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway."

Our flesh wars against our spirit and so it will often fight you tooth and nail as you get sound grace doctrine built up in your inner man, believe it and are obeying it.

Gal 5:17 "For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would."

We need to remember that even though we are saved and have God's imputed righteousness, our flesh hasn't changed. In our flesh dwells no good thing. This is why we need regular Bible study, to keep our minds renewed so that we can put off the old man, reckoning it to be dead and to then choose to walk in the Spirit instead. 

Romans 7:18

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not."

Romans 7:25

"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."

Galatians 5:16

"This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh"

We need to remember that everyday we are either communicating sound grace doctrine to others, or worldliness. We do this not just through our speaking but even in our actions. If we are constantly moody, throwing fits, using foul language etc what is that communicating? Carnality. It's not helpful or edifying to anyone. But if we speak sound words and are kind, gracious, gentle, meek and even quiet, that is communicating the sound grace doctrine in our inner man. 

An important thing to remember as well is that we are never alone. God's Spirit is in our spirit, and we also have angels that watch us and who are learning from us about the manifold wisdom of God by observing Christ living in and through us. So, we are always teaching someone something!

Ephesians 3:10-11

10 To the intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places [angelic beings] might be known by the church the manifold wisdom of God, 11 According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord:

1 Cor 11:9-10

9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. 

What are You Feeding Your Mind?

One thing that greatly helps with our emotions is to be careful with what we feed our mind. Our emotions can also be triggered by hormones, overstimulation, fatigue and burn-out, a nutrient deficiency, illness, medications, lack of sleep and other such things. But they are primarily controlled by what we think and our thinking is a result of what we feed our minds. We should be very careful about what we watch, read and listen to. If we are watching, reading and listening to things that are worldly, stressful, depressing, traumatic or sinful, that can effect our thinking and our emotions. 

Some examples:

• Watching the news all day can lead to feelings of anxiety, fear, anger and depression. 

• Reading romance novels, sometimes even Christian ones, might make you feel like your marriage is boring or your husband isn't romantic enough and leads to feelings of discontentment. 

• Listening to worldly songs from your youth before you got saved might stir up youthful lusts within you.

• Spending hours daily on social media can lead to anxiety or depression or you might start to compare yourself, your family and your life with others.

• Reading and studying God's Word will help stabilize your emotions and help you feel more joyful, content and peaceful in life (even if we do also have some feelings of conviction when reading it).

• Watching a family friendly, Christian movie or TV show might help you feel happy in the moment, encourage you and make you think more positively about life.

• Reading a classic book that is Christian friendly could help you think more encouraging thoughts about life or encourage you in getting through difficult times in life (Little House on the Prairie or Little Women are some examples).

• Listening to gospel hymns or Christian music can uplift your mood and keep your mind focused on God.

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